So its been a while since I've been here, but I promise you that, like pussy, I come in waves. And one time I did come in a wave. Whoosh.
Part of the reason for my absence (though its not an excuse) is lately I have been making collaborative music. What?! ya you heard me. I have been helping a female lead power pop garage rock outfit get vearginas wet. Lets go with Poprawk. Does that work as a definition? Bells and Cannons are the name we go by and we do some things well. For instance Devon, our leading lady, shakes her vocal chords better than anyone you or the guy you bought your vibrator from knows. She also is good at finding four leaf clovers. Spooky, the masterbasser, is a black ginger man. Yup. Me, I just try not to fuck the vibe up and sometimes do a decent job, I'm also really good at finding three leaf clovers. And I really want to play a party where we strictly play covers from the Billy Madison soundtrack.
So here s a little rant I wrote watching a 49ers game the other day, Ill throw up my fav tracks of the month at the bottom. Octobers finest.
Why do people boo? where did this chant come from. Instead of looking it up lets sort through some explanations that come to mind. I feel that it could have had something to do with a boob reference that was cut short by a backhand slap, perhaps taking place in a cave. Like “Bitch you wont even let me come on your booo(slap)” “All I said to her was she has great boooo(punch)” Or maybe it was simply used at first to describe grotesquely oversized pair of breasts. Man, look at those boobs, those are fuckin boooooobs! Yeah I can see it taking off from there. It might have happened at a football game too, a female with knockers so large that a man would take offense the same way he would when the running back on his team fumbles at the goal line. It may seem like a ridiculous statement but I promise you it is (possibly) true and also is something I don’t fully understand. Ya she knows she has big boobs and not everybody is down with that, but as a viewer you don’t need to go pursing your lips and arching your eyebrows making a a deep primitive noise. The same goes for our poor running back, ya we know you like the team he plays on and we know that he gets paid a lot of money to put a death grip on a piece of inflated leather, but booing doesn’t put super glue in his hands and it doesn’t turn E-cups into whatever Halle Berry is carrying. Save your air for motorboating and chanting “warm up the bus”
Thats it, for now. I have a series of short stories comin to you all in the next couple weeks. You probably know what they involve but I'll tell you anyway. Misplaced Penises.
Love ya.
And ya I love this guy
